UNFIT

The court room was congested and noisy today; quite unlike the previous times.
Journalists, family members, church members, more church members . It was a real struggle getting in, even with the prison warders pushing and shoving.
I caught sight of some my colleagues; all junior, sitted close to Temi.
For the first time, I notice how professional and out of place, they must look here and  wonder if they had come in sympathy or to get first hand news..."Ms Poker face, got served".
That was what they called me, behind my back of course; I couldn't care less.
I remember when i had first told Temi of the title; he seemed to ponder a bit, and then said "It suits you", But when i didn't stop looking at him, he finally added "sometimes".

I finally make it in; not before hearing the sobs, screams and invectives...And the particular piercing voice that threatened to shatter my ear drums the moment i step down from the black maria.
I was wearing the hood today, Barr. Chidi had advised that I did before entering the court. He was right .
 The voice was Mummy damisi's...I could never mistake the tone. It was the same at Maami's funeral.

Baba had asked us to mourn like 'christians ', because the G.O was conducting the funeral service. But she had continued wailing until he bellowed at her "Morayo, will you be quiet! Will you! Or do you want to accompany maami?".
He had been appointed provincial pastor of THE SHERPERDS' LIGHT only recently, and it was the G.O 's first time in Mokola...our ancestral home in Ibadan. He was not one to attend social events, but Baba had earned his respect; so they said.

Mummy damisi had changed her tone immediately at the reprimand..."Boda mi agbaya ni yin,boda mi e ma je'm binu sinyin, agabaya ni yin", Other mourners held her close and cautioned Baba from using such language at his mothers funeral.

I was sitted with Bode, away from our other cousins; It was the year before he went abroad for college. We had chuckled at the way she switched tones, until mum had signalled us from the front pew.

Bode, who was somewhere in the courtroom...waiting in trepidation. He was the only one who knew; who truly understood.

Temi had tried and failed, and so he had settled with just loving me, to the chagrin of his family members; through it all. He wept yesterday, at the prison yard...holding my hand and telling me for the umpteenth time that he was going to appeal, if it went wrong. I had smiled in admiration at how much he had changed... Temi Martins, the dogged one.
And I knew in my heart that I picked a good time


And my baby brother ! Couldn't he understand? Was it so hard to comprehend; that I desired this, I wanted this.
The only thing that had kept me from ending it all was cowardice; as much as I hated to admit it, I just couldn't do this myself, not that i didnt try.
I needed help, and company too.
Babas', We both deserved it.

"All rise for the honourable Smith Irikefe.." shouted the court clerk as the pudgy judge was ushered in.
And the case was read..." (The State v.Folakemi Martins 2013)


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