Letter to a 'love gone'

Dearest,

We went to the park today; the same one you had always asked me to go to "wind down". I always had excuses: I was too busy, I wasn't a little child,it was too open.

But today, I went. With Uyi and Iniobong, I sat on the dusty side bench and watched her play...she was over the moon.
There were just a few kids there and i could see her jumping from place to place,mingling with the kids she had just met. Sometimes looking in my direction and waving.

She fell once, and my heart skipped a bitnbsp; But just like you said you were as a kid, she jumped right back up and continued. Her legs are stronger now, so she can run faster than i can ; sometimes; She tried to climb the swing herself...lol at twenty months. Who does that! She couldn't of course. Uyi had to help her up,and then he pushed her back and forth on the swing. I took my turn to push her too, And as she went higher,she screamed gleefully, And then I smiled.

That was my first. But today I did; I thought I wouldn't remember how to, I forgot how much I used to. I almost didn't believe that I did, but Uyi told me I did. And I believed because he caught that fleeting moment on camera.

And so, as we headed home tonight; with Ini sleeping soundly on my breast, drained out from too much play ; and quiet music filling the air from that radio station I told you I hated. (Yes! That same  we often argued about), he showed me the picture.
He didn't say anything; just handed me the phone (we've all become taciturn nowadays). Even 'talkathon' Mumsie seemed to have cooled it, can u believe that?
And as I stared at my image amidst the coming sunset, with ini in the background on the swing; I saw the first hint of life coming back to me.  
Darling, its been 248days now ( Yes! I'v been counting in days,this time),and I could swear that in that carefree , playful moment I. Saw. You.

Smiling down at us.Thank you my beloved; its hard but we're pushing through. Thanks cos' on those days when I  couldn't wake up to another day without you; I've felt your gentle hand on my spine,pushing me forward...each day; one step at a time.





A friend lost her hubby shortly after marriage; It was a painful period even for family and friends. I wrote this in empathy, i may never fully grasp what she went through during that period. But this is my attempt, at putting that emotional journey into words. Did you recently lose a loved one? Can words adequately express what you're going or went through? Please feel free to share your thoughts; My prayer is that you find the comfort you need.